I know I've been taking far too many breaks in between studying, hence I'm grossly behind my revision schedule! Yes, I made a revision schedule, like monday study this, tuesday revise that, wednesday finish up chapter X, etc. Attempt to be organized, but failed attempt cos what's the point when I don't stick to it?!

See, that's the funny thing about people, deep down we always know that some things ain't gonna work out eventually, but we still wanna try and prove ourselves wrong, and in the process when we finally realise that our attempts are useless, redundant and flushed down the toilet bowl, we then start to feel useless, stupid and regretful for trying in the first place!

As the day when I become 21 years plus another year draws nearer, I can't help it but I'm actually dreading it, cos I know it's another year older, perhaps just a little bit wiser, but totally unaccomplished. I'm still mostly dependent on my parents for my monthly expenses, got minimal work experience, nothing to add onto my resume, still one more year to graduation. I still feel like I'm a 19 year old kid. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I think and act like one. Very mean, I know. But I think it's true. Can't wait to grad and head out into the working world where it's dog eat dog, survival of the fittest and all that crap. But it's only then will I learn how to really grow up! Very sad lah, that we live in this society whereby this the "safe" route to survive.