it was 11.58pm last nite when i was trying all my best to absorb & make sense of what is an income multiplier when my hp vibrated and gave me a shock. it was sophie telling me she's dead and i replied im dead too, haven't completed much. i was tired & went to bed.
set my alarm clock to wake up at 8am, and as expected i woke up at 9.30am instead. sometimes i tink i just don't need any alarm clocks at all. mugged till 11am, almost dozed off, just let the fatigue took over me & went for a short nap. reali short man. im amazed at myself, woke at 11.30am. took a shower, hoping the cold water would wake me up. it didn't.
ate lunch, crappy char siew rice. the lime magazine with robbie williams in the cover staring at me, telling me to pick it up & browse. i did. read the article about the cast from my currently fav prime time show, the champions. then, damn, it's 1pm. packed my bag, told grandma bye & i love her & went off to school.
at the bus stop, still mugging. peering up once in a while to make sure i didn't miss my bus. then this man carrying a camera with the channel u sticker on it waked past. issued an instruction to an old lady. told her to pretend she's flagging a bus. trying to act all natural cos i was very near the old lady. i tink im gona be on tv (!! hurhur!!) shit. was lookin all haggard with my pissed off face. bus finally came, went up the bus. think the camera's still rolling.
2 stops later steph came up the bus. continued mugging. got off the bus headed straight up to the toilet. it's a place which offers much serenity & calms my nerves before any exam. surprisingly no mean smells present, so that's good. that's 1.30pm. then steph asked how the income multiplier process works in reverse. tried to explain, but confused myself in the end. becks came minutes later, followed by chelsea. more mugging. anxious squeals & deep breaths. 1.40pm, left the toilet. met xuemei on the way to the exam hall. steph asked her how the income multiplier worked in the reverse.
1.54pm, turned over the question paper. cancelled question 6, 5, 2. saw question 1 and grinned. saw question 3 and grinned even wider. saw question 4. explain what affects the size of the income multiplier. YAY.
4.11pm. pens down. but damn, got so much more to write. felt pissed off. but felt pleased at the same time cos whatever i spotted came out. thank god.
relieved that econs essay is over. can relax sua alreadi. but still got hist paper 2. which im gona pia damn hard for to get a decent grade for hist overall.
u know, how certain music, smells, touch remind u of a certain experience, happening or person. happens to me all the time. versace redjeans remind me of sec 2 days, aqua songs remind me of luther, moonflower reminds me of iantoh, and so on.
am just thinkin about the possible things which will remind me of arthur when he's gona leave for australia. there's gona be so many. not good.
it pisses me off that i tend to keep things to myself & bottle feelings up. a part of me wana scream at the top of my lungs, and yell out at the top of my voice about my feelings & myself. but i usually do the opposite. why all these inhibitions? isn't sucha wonderful thing to be known, to be heard, to let others know what how strongly u feel about a certain issue? i have this impression that if i keep things to myself & seem neutral about stuff, i'd spare myself the trouble of getting into sticky situations.
i miss doing alot of things which i used to do and the emotions i feel when doing them. like jogging around my neighbourhood, beads of persperation running down my head, panting like im an asthmatic, feeling optimistic that im gona burn lotsa fat, feeling my waistline going slimmer & thunder thighs loosing all that flab. ok, im gona go jogging tmr. for sure. reali. i miss walkin into the cjc band room, being greeted by fellow band mates, holding on to my vincent bach trumpet, fingering the vaulves, my lips vibrating into the mouthpiece creating the most wonderful sound ive ever heard. i miss sitting at my desk in the class of 2t08, xuemei to my left & chelsea to my right, chelsea's stuff spilling over to my table, all the jokes & laughter with my classmates, walkin to and fro from classroom to canteen to lecture theatres. i miss hugging arthur & that warm & fuzzy feeling, it's been a long long long long time since we spent time together just the two of us. i miss playing barbie dolls with my baby sister, combing the doll's blonde and often tangled hair, playing pretend, giving life to those plastic dolls, what fun i had.
alright. that's a whole lot of rambling. im tired. gona take a good break (one of many many breaks) tonight before i pia for hist paper 2 tmr.
set my alarm clock to wake up at 8am, and as expected i woke up at 9.30am instead. sometimes i tink i just don't need any alarm clocks at all. mugged till 11am, almost dozed off, just let the fatigue took over me & went for a short nap. reali short man. im amazed at myself, woke at 11.30am. took a shower, hoping the cold water would wake me up. it didn't.
ate lunch, crappy char siew rice. the lime magazine with robbie williams in the cover staring at me, telling me to pick it up & browse. i did. read the article about the cast from my currently fav prime time show, the champions. then, damn, it's 1pm. packed my bag, told grandma bye & i love her & went off to school.
at the bus stop, still mugging. peering up once in a while to make sure i didn't miss my bus. then this man carrying a camera with the channel u sticker on it waked past. issued an instruction to an old lady. told her to pretend she's flagging a bus. trying to act all natural cos i was very near the old lady. i tink im gona be on tv (!! hurhur!!) shit. was lookin all haggard with my pissed off face. bus finally came, went up the bus. think the camera's still rolling.
2 stops later steph came up the bus. continued mugging. got off the bus headed straight up to the toilet. it's a place which offers much serenity & calms my nerves before any exam. surprisingly no mean smells present, so that's good. that's 1.30pm. then steph asked how the income multiplier process works in reverse. tried to explain, but confused myself in the end. becks came minutes later, followed by chelsea. more mugging. anxious squeals & deep breaths. 1.40pm, left the toilet. met xuemei on the way to the exam hall. steph asked her how the income multiplier worked in the reverse.
1.54pm, turned over the question paper. cancelled question 6, 5, 2. saw question 1 and grinned. saw question 3 and grinned even wider. saw question 4. explain what affects the size of the income multiplier. YAY.
4.11pm. pens down. but damn, got so much more to write. felt pissed off. but felt pleased at the same time cos whatever i spotted came out. thank god.
relieved that econs essay is over. can relax sua alreadi. but still got hist paper 2. which im gona pia damn hard for to get a decent grade for hist overall.
u know, how certain music, smells, touch remind u of a certain experience, happening or person. happens to me all the time. versace redjeans remind me of sec 2 days, aqua songs remind me of luther, moonflower reminds me of iantoh, and so on.
am just thinkin about the possible things which will remind me of arthur when he's gona leave for australia. there's gona be so many. not good.
it pisses me off that i tend to keep things to myself & bottle feelings up. a part of me wana scream at the top of my lungs, and yell out at the top of my voice about my feelings & myself. but i usually do the opposite. why all these inhibitions? isn't sucha wonderful thing to be known, to be heard, to let others know what how strongly u feel about a certain issue? i have this impression that if i keep things to myself & seem neutral about stuff, i'd spare myself the trouble of getting into sticky situations.
i miss doing alot of things which i used to do and the emotions i feel when doing them. like jogging around my neighbourhood, beads of persperation running down my head, panting like im an asthmatic, feeling optimistic that im gona burn lotsa fat, feeling my waistline going slimmer & thunder thighs loosing all that flab. ok, im gona go jogging tmr. for sure. reali. i miss walkin into the cjc band room, being greeted by fellow band mates, holding on to my vincent bach trumpet, fingering the vaulves, my lips vibrating into the mouthpiece creating the most wonderful sound ive ever heard. i miss sitting at my desk in the class of 2t08, xuemei to my left & chelsea to my right, chelsea's stuff spilling over to my table, all the jokes & laughter with my classmates, walkin to and fro from classroom to canteen to lecture theatres. i miss hugging arthur & that warm & fuzzy feeling, it's been a long long long long time since we spent time together just the two of us. i miss playing barbie dolls with my baby sister, combing the doll's blonde and often tangled hair, playing pretend, giving life to those plastic dolls, what fun i had.
alright. that's a whole lot of rambling. im tired. gona take a good break (one of many many breaks) tonight before i pia for hist paper 2 tmr.
FIVE MORE DAYS BEFORE LIBERATION
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