snapped

bloody hell..
i'm starting to dislike history all over again.
it's taking up too much time.
too damn much.
ive got little time left for econ & math.
totally neglected econ these two weeks.
and i couldn't do the data response exercise today.
was damn traumatised.
i know it's all abt time management,
but wth,
mine sucks to the core.

had a horrible throbbing headache which lasted the whole day since PE.
but one tiny consolation for today is tt i improved my 2.4 run timing.
*beams for a second.

hist remedial was crappy today.
all we did was copy an outline into an essay.
it's a timed essay to gauge how much we can write in 45min.
bloody hell.
i swear in her screwed up brain there's nothin
but ultimate bad remarks abt me & my work.
like i copied the exact same damn stuff as justin.
but he somehow managed to hit 4 sides with his handwriting.
i onli managed 3 and a half sides.
well, not good enough was the comment.
it jus furthur proves how biased she is.

just as i thought things were getting better..
i was wrong..
somehow all that paranoia's flooding back again.
i hate it.
hate hate hate hate it.
im just sick & tired of it.
may be it's just the state of mind i'm in now.
negative towards everything tt's thrown at me.

another email from maisie..
gawd i miss her so much..
if onli she's around in sch with me.
i'm sure i'd be able to pull through today
& i wouldn't have crapped out all the above thoughts.
she'd be comin up with lotsa funny shit
& i'd be laughing & playing along i wouldn't be bothered abt how sucky this day was.
yea.
if onli.