gloom

it's onli tuesday.
wonder how long i'd last.
i'm realli apprehensive abt the next few months.
scared.
afraid tt history might repeat itself.
tt i'll lose the battle again.

things doesn't seem to be getting better with maisie leavin soon.
i guess it'd be worse then.
it'd feel so lost without her.
she's my buddy.
my companion.
my eating & shitting partner.
my goofing around,laughing,irritating side-kick.
happy for her.she know's wad she wants.
and she's going to pursue it.
yanz leavin too.
rather sad since things are so much better now.
i'd miss her.miss her smile.her presence.
things are gona be so different.
but life goes on.
i'd be fine i guess.i hope.

mum & i still not talkin to each other.
i'd rather not.
save the trouble of creating more friction.
seems like she's not keen on talkin too.
wonder how long this cold war will last.
i guess it's the pride in us.

i'm getting super sick of band.
it's disgusting.
sectionals are disgusting.
with some disgustingly arrogant ppl who think they can play damn well.
alright, then wad's this section leader for?
i'm sure they'd do fine without me, since they think tt me goin thru the pieces is sucha dreadful thing.
ungrateful brats.
one the main reasons why conductor wanted me to stay was cos of them.
i can't be bothered anymore.

screw it