on your own

these two days were crazy.
band was preparing/rehearsing the performance.
i'm sorry to say- it sucks.
to the core.
it's utterly embarrassing.
all tt gimmicks & "dancing".
yesterday's practice was the last straw man.
i was blardy exhausted & tired after the macritchie run.
plus we had to repeat the movements so many times.
it's was frustrating.
extremely.
i knew i was being bratty & was in a super foul mood.
showing attitude and all tt.
i'm sorry. if i offended anyone.

sometimes, no one else understands u better than yrself.
i'm one such example.
i figured no matter how lousy i feel,no one will ever know how i feel.
so there's no point spilling out my troubles or trying to explain how i felt abt this fucked up day.
cos simply,they won't understand or feel the same way as i do.
all they can do is gimme an encouraging pat on my shoulder (at times a big comforting hug) and tell me things will be ok.
yea sure.
but then again, tt's wad i'd do if a fren's feeling down.
i may not know how awful they feel, but i'd show them that at least there's a fren who cares.

sometimes u tink there are frens who standby you,
because they ARE yr frens.especially if they've known u for a long time.
but then something screwed up which doesn't realli concern them, which is related to this fren, who happens to be their fren too. ( ok, i'm confused .)
just cos yr frens onli heard one side of the story, u become the one to be blamed for the problem.u are the evil one. the one who's causing all this misery.
it's not fair.
not fair at all.