old times

the more i hide/dodge/avoid,
the more it comes at me.
and even when i'm not hidin or avoidin,
it hits me too.
man..
it's so tough.
not good, not good.
just makes me think even more.
can't help it.
think what if i nvr did wad i did in the 1st place which made it how it is now.
complicated i know.
but this is how things are to me now.
all those fun funny fantastic frustrating moments,
all gone.
but it still remains at the back of my head.
no matter how much i force it out it jus keeps bugging me.
guess there's no ending to my ranting abt this issue.
until the day i suffer from permanent amnesia.

survived another killer thursday.
many more thursdays to come.
been feeling extremely lethargic these days.
maybe my body system's still not used to wakin up so freakin early at 6am.
man..
i miss the holidays..all those late nights..wakin up in the aftnoon..slacking..